Management tries to deny union-guaranteed bereavement leave, offering one day off to healthcare worker after losing a parent: ‘I asked why I can't take the full 5 days off and she said she "would check the handbook and policy in the morning”’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Nov 27, 2025 7:00 PM EST

This healthcare worker deals with losing a parent and immediately hits a wall with management, who tries to deny the full bereavement leave clearly stated in the union handbook. Five days entitled becomes one day offered, and every extra bit of time will require calling off as if grief operates on a schedule approved by the staff rota. Handbook rules look less like policy and more like folklore passed around in the break room; every plea for relief is met with "I'll check the handbook" and a shrug.

Management prefers to interpret union agreements as loose guidelines, parsing compassion like limited stock in the backroom. Even with a physical copy and clear language about eligibility, the response is a familiar game of delaying tactics and half-promises of future answers. Standard procedure means offering condolences and then instructing staff to call in sick if comfort requires more than a shift or two.

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  • Job is trying to refuse me bereavement time off

    A serious woman stands in an office, holding her hand up in a clear stop gesture while looking directly at the camera.
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  • My job is union and we have a union handbook. I have a physical copy of the current handbook and we are entitled to up to 5 days of consecutive bereavement time off if we are full time and if it's an immediate family member - I have been full time the entire time I've been here (over a year) and my mom d d the other day (Saturday).
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  • The management at my job said they can only give me Sunday night off (which was I was scheduled to do).
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  • They also said if I need any additional time off, I would have to call off.
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  • I checked the handbook and management is definitely not following the policy our union has in place.
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  • I have a text from my supervisor saying they can only give me Sunday night off and saying that I would need to call off for any more time.
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  • I texted her back and asked why I can't take the full 5 days off and she said she "would check the handbook and policy in the morning".
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  • A woman with red hair and glasses shrugs with both palms up in a home office, conveying confusion or uncertainty.
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  • I just wanted other people to look at it because I'm exhausted and going through it.
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  • Reality is far from handbook ideal. Time off depends on how insistent someone can be, not how the rules read. Experience in this workplace means learning that even the simplest concessions must be spun into tactical negotiations. Losing a family member tests endurance, but so does battling bureaucracy armed only with a page number and a tired group chat. In some jobs, empathy never quite makes the schedule.

  • Edit to add (sorry): I'm in Pennsylvania.
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  • SpecialKnits4855 Talk to your union rep. Each side needs to come together on this. If your employer is violating the CBA, your union needs to know.
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll My union's resource center is closed on the weekend but I called anyway and left a voicemail. I also texted my department's rep, waiting to hear back from them.
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  • Careful-Self-457 Text them back and let them know that you will be notifying the union about their lack of knowledge on basic contract issues. Tell them you will file a grievance if the time is not allowed off per contract.
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll I sent her a screenshot of the handbook and bereavement policy from my own physical copy. I sent it a few hours ago and she hasn't responded. I'm just going to wait to talk to my union.
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  • DazzlingPotion Yes most definitely talk to your union rep first, in fact, it's great that you are in a union. Ask your rep to reach out to your supervisor ASAP.
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  • I | OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll planning on doing that anyway but it's nice to have confirmation, thank you.
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  • Low-Tea-6157 Sorry for your loss. Hope they make it right
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll I've always had issues with management at my job but I tried to just do my work and leave and not get involved in anything. This is the one thing I can't excuse or forgive / I think this is the death knell for me there.
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  • DazzlingPotion If the handbook says 5 days then you should get 5 days. Call HR tomorrow and make sure you save a copy of the handbook.
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll I have a physical copy of the handbook at home so no worries there. Should I talk to my union first and then HR?
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  • Obse55ive Last week I just started a job where a majority of employees at the location I work at are unionized. They are extremely strict about following the union rules. If you have a union steward, you need to speak with them ASAP. You can file a grievance. If it's a union policy, they have to follow it. It will be up to your management team to find coverage for your shifts.
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll I definitely think they're refusing it because there's no coverage (1 work overnight). Which is not my fault. It feels so slimey.
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  • auditor2 contact your union rep...now
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll Already done. Waiting to hear back.
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  • NorCalMikey Do you not have shop stewards for each shift?
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll I work in healthcare, we don't have them where I work.
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  • Floreit Something to consider, is that handbook up to date? if its a month or so out of date should still be fine but if its several years out of date, then theyll likely go with the new handbook.
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll It is. It's from the agreement signed last year and is good until 2027. I was given this sometime in the past year.
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  • OP pm_me_ur_elderscroll Update: the department manager called not too long ago and said I can take the whole week off. At least that's settled.
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management workplace discussion employment issues boss workplace-stories hr manager work PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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